Pumpkin Spice & Snuggle Muffin

Jan 9, 2011 by

No, those aren’t the otter’s names.. Those are really bad pet names (suggestions for worse ones are welcome!).

So Snuggle Muffin and I… oh wait, I mean Snake Eyes… we are often taken for a couple when we’re out together. We might be out garage saleing, at the range, or checking out the new army navy store in town (which sadly lasted only a month, despite our enthusiastic patronage). In December, we went to my first gun show (and certainly not his) together, and were again mistaken for a couple.

But let me back up to the funny story of the first time it happened.

Adorable Sea Otters Holding HandsThere we were are the large weekend flea market in mid-October, pursuing for prepping supplies. Actually, we were looking for toy guns and toy swords for Halloween costumes. Which we found, along with some other interesting tidbits (a nice new wrench, a few small first aid kits, some rope). We were on our way out of the building after a few hours of digging around the 100+ booths, when we came upon this nice old lady fruit vendor. It was the end of the day, and she was selling off her strawberries cheap, just to get them out the door. I stared, lustfully, at the red juicy container…

So she turns to Snake Eyes and says, “You get these for the lady.” He looks at me to check if I’m interested, and probably caught me staring at them like a ship-wreak survivor back on the mainland. While he’s making up his mind to buy some, she tilts her head at him and says “You make nice margarita for the lady when you get home. She be very happy. She make you very happy.”

At that, I had to turn away so I didn’t burst out laughing… so Snake Eyes calmly hands the lady $5 for two large containers, and says to her, “I know just what it takes to make her happy Ma’am”. And we leave. We make it about 15 feet before bursting into hysterical laughter.. See, it’s not just that we’re not a couple – I also already have a spouse, and they areย the only thing that makes me happy, and doesn’t he know it!

So I ended up with a free basket of strawberries, and a very funny memory!

But it happens all the time. Especially at gun shows. We decided after the first few times to just go with it – and we work on coming up with progressively worse pet names for each other. The latest was Pumpkin Spice, on his end, at the gun show, when I bought a black baseball cap that just happened to match his. Then we really looked like a couple.

But the point of this post, aside from the amusement factor? Sometimes it’s advantageous to be mistaken for a couple. At gun shows, we tend to separate for awhile and go our own ways, and it’s amazing how differently the vendors treat me, a young hot thing, when I’m alooooone. I get a lot of the “Why, little lady, what’re you looking for today? A little something you can carry in your purse?” Chortle. They’re looking to make a quick buck on an unsuspecting, vulnerable lady. But when Snake Eyes is standing next to me, they look at him, talk to him, and treat me like the amusing hot chick sidekick. Which is perfectly OK at a gun show – I know Snake Eyes know more about firearms than I do, and he’s welcome to do all the talking when it comes to the firearms. I’ll just sit there and look pretty. Snuggle Muffin!

It does, however, get patronizing quickly. Just weigh the benefits… I also weigh the fact that I really don’t know as much as they do or he does about a lotta things, and that I couldn’t talk the talk as well as he can, even I put the smack down with them and made them treat me like they’d treat any male customer. So I cheerfully let Fluffy Wookum do the talking. But if you know your stuff, please, feel free to wipe the floor with them. And tell me about it – it’ll make me happy!

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8 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    Hey Little Lady if you ever need an escort to a gun show, just call me up! I’ll buy you strawberries anytime. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. JR

    Cutest. Picture. Ever.

  3. Jack Stein

    In a WROL situation, being mistaken for a couple can be a really good thing. I hate to say it, but women aren’t going to have an easy time of it, and may find that aligning themselves to the right man is one way to survive. Please don’t think that I’m being patronizing or saying women can’t fend for themselves – they can and I’ve seen it. Just that it might not be a bad idea to think about this sort of thing now, when building a retreat group for after the SHTF. The men can protect the women by virtue of perception alone in some cases. In other cases, you fight and you kill if necessary.

  4. Anonymous

    I’m a girl too, and it infuriates me to be considered second step when I’m out with my guy friends. The eyes are up HERE fellas. My guy friends are really great about it though, and will either act protectively (not patronizingly) and tell the man to treat me with some respect, or get the hell out of my way when I want to tell it to them up close and personal. ๐Ÿ˜€

  5. Anonymous

    I found you from the picture, but I have to say, this article was hilarious. Something similar happened to be once when I was with my friend’s brother – and to this day we’ve both been to embarrassed to ever tell her about it. But in retrospect, it was kind of funny.

    Thanks for the laugh!

  6. Barney

    In a WROL situation, being part of a real or imagined couple might save your life. Funny post too.

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